"I don't have a name. I used to have one, and many people would like to know what it is. Some call me Trilby, and as a name it suffices."
"I prefer to think of myself as a gentleman thief."
"And the gentleman thief makes his entrance."
"An Armstrong steel 14 safe. I could crack these in my sleep."
"I hate bidets. They're so decadent."
[In response to repeated observations of doors] "It's a large, rectangular piece of wood used to fill large, ungainly holes in walls." "It's a door. What more is there to say?" "As you've probably already figured out, this is a door." "My keen senses tell me that this is a door." "Is this a door I see before me?" "It's larger than a window and smaller than a garage, so I guess it's a door." "I think, of all the doors I've seen here, this is by far the best." "I take it back, THIS is the best door in the whole house. "I used to go out with a girl who had a door just like that." "Have I already told you about the girl who had a door just like that? Her name was Patricia. She had eyes like sapphires, hair like a fountain of night, and the most magnificient pair of... of... earrings I have ever seen. Anyway, she left me for the lead singer of The Doors, which explains why this door reminds me of her, I suppose. Sorry, I have a tendency to ramble when players won't stop looking at the bloody doors."
[In response to AJ's frightened reaction to him] "What got into him? Oh, wait." [Removes mask] "I keep forgetting I'm wearing this thing. But who the hell was that guy? I was under the impression this house was empty..."